


Dear Zero: Forever Yours

by LuanRina



Series: Dear Zero [2]
Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, KaZe as in Kaname x Zero, Kaname/Zero - Freeform, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut - Sorry, Obsessive Behavior, Oneshot, Romance - sort of, Stalking, Suspense - sort of, Yandere - sort of, kaname x zero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 06:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16080137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuanRina/pseuds/LuanRina
Summary: AU. Kaname took his new patient in an attempt to regain some peace in his life, only to end up losing whatever semblance was left of it altogether. Kaname's side of the events in 'Dear Zero'. Kaname/Zero





	Dear Zero: Forever Yours

**Author's Note:**

> **Dear Zero: Forever Yours**
> 
> A Vampire Knight Fan Fiction
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight and its characters are, unfortunately, not mine *sighs sadly* I'm merely playing around with them in order to make our BL dreams come true.
> 
>  **Pairings:** Kaname/Zero, as always ;D
> 
>  **Warnings:** AU, all humans. OOC-ness, no real plot, sort of stalking, crappy writing, and the author's impossibly lame and completely fruitless attempts at being funny, creepy and creative. Same as always.
> 
> _**A/N:** As you've probably gathered from the title, this story is related to my other one — the one titled 'Dear Zero'. Or those of you who read that other story have xD Took me longer than I hoped, but it couldn't be helped since I got sick (still am, actually), so my efficiency dropped significantly *sighs* Will have to take a leave from work tomorrow since I still feel like crap here -_-;_
> 
> _This story is basically Kaname's side of the events in 'Dear Zero'. You don't have to read 'Dear Zero' if you don't want to, but I guess I sort of recommend that you do. You know, fuller picture, less confusion and all that. These two stories are different sides of the same coin, after all. Something like that xD_
> 
> _Truly sorry if it ends up being a total let down and a complete waste of time. Also sorry for the length. Yeah, I did it again -_-;_
> 
> _English is not my first language, so there will most likely be some ridiculous and crappy mistakes like bad or awkward grammar and typos. All those mistakes are mine and mine alone, so I apologize for them in advance too._
> 
> _Would be delighted to hear your thoughts at the end of this. Hope you will enjoy reading! :D_

Kaname released a long, heavy sigh after downing an entire glass of whiskey in three big — and extremely unbecoming to his usual well-mannered self — gulps. The liquid scorched his throat and made him grimace, but he still ordered another glass.

"Bad day?" came from beside him.

Kaname turned to look at the owner of the voice, his burgundy eyes locked with a pair of familiar, sympathetic emerald ones of his companion. A few moments of silence passed, then Kaname turned away to take his next glass of whiskey with a deep sigh.

"Bad _month_ is more like it," he replied before taking a sip of his drink, holding back from emptying the glass in seconds like he had done previously.

"That bad, huh?" his companion — his best friend and coworker, Ichijou Takuma, asked.

Kaname gave an uncharacteristic snort. "You have no idea," he replied with a wry smile. "I'm actually beginning to think there is something wrong with me and my methods."

Takuma let out a nervous laugh. "This one makes it…how many, exactly?"

" _Five_ ," Kaname all but growled out.

Takuma whistled. "Well, I guess you're on your lucky streak."

Kaname shot him a withering glare that made him visibly flinch. "Ugh… _un_ lucky, then?"

Kaname's glare intensified, and so did Takuma's discomfort. He fidgeted in his seat, shifting ever so slightly away. Kaname couldn't help taking a certain satisfaction from making his friend uncomfortable.

Takuma breathed a quiet sigh — definitely of relief — when Kaname returned his attention to his drink. A while of silence followed.

With another soft sigh, Takuma turned his gaze away from his friend and sipped his own drink. When he was relatively certain it was safe to speak — and breathe — again, he resumed their conversation.

"Seriously, though," Takuma started, carefully looking at his companion once more, "what _is_ it with you and your female patients? What are you _doing_ to them during your sessions?"

" _Nothing_ ," Kaname hissed, shooting the other a sideways glare. "Only my damn job."

Takuma blinked, taken aback. He only meant to tease his friend a little, but apparently, that wasn't such a good idea. "Okay," he raised his hands in surrender, "my bad. I wasn't thinking."

Kaname's glare remained in place for a few seconds before losing its intensity and disappearing altogether, replaced by tiredness. He sighed heavily, turning away. "Sorry," he mumbled, "I'm just…" He was sick of certain aspects of his job, to put it mildly. "Sorry," he repeated with another sigh before finishing his drink and ordering another one. 

The two lapsed into silence anew. It lasted for a long while as they sat there nursing their drinks. Then Takuma made a suggestion.

"Maybe you should take a vacation?"

Kaname snorted. "Or maybe I should just quit. It's not like I need a job anyway."

Takuma frowned. "But you like it."

"Not all of it."

"What will you do then?"

Kaname's lips quirked into a lopsided smirk. "Live the life of a typical trust fund baby. Just like my uncle wants me to."

Takuma grimaced. "You'll die of boredom and you know it."

Kaname sighed. "That I do," he agreed. "So I'm open to suggestions."

"Stop taking female patients?"

Kaname arched an eyebrow. "You do realize that they make up the majority of our clients, right? And how do you suppose I explain it?"

"By telling the truth?"

Kaname scoffed, "Out of the question."

Takuma made another suggestion, "Drop all the troublesome ones?"

"Already have."

"And?"

"And the one I told you about appeared next. You know how it works. Openings get filled." Kaname finished his third glass of whiskey. He was starting to feel pleasantly buzzed. Finally. "Now I can only hope the next one will be more sensible. Or better yet, a male."

Takuma blinked, his emerald eyes widened as he suddenly remembered something. "I think I can help you with that," he said with a smile, perking up.

Kaname looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He didn't say anything, but it was evident that Takuma had his full attention.

"I got this new patient," Takuma started. " _Male_. I haven't started with him yet, so it's still okay to hand his case to you."

Kaname considered the offer. He didn't feel particularly enthusiastic about it, but… As a temporary solution, he guessed it would do. At least he wouldn't have to endure more unwanted attention from another female patient.

"How much time do I have?" He needed to study his new patient's case, after all.

Takuma's smile widened. "Till this Saturday."

That wasn't very long. But, well…

Kaname nodded. "Deal."

Desperate times…

**-o-**

"…Aren't you supposed to ask me questions?"

Kaname allowed a small, inviting smile to grace his lips. "What do you want me to ask?"

"I don't. But that's how this whole thing usually works, right? You ask questions."

Kaname nodded. "I see. And which questions are those?"

A shrug. "The usual stuff you shrinks ask."

"What _do_ we ask?"

Kaname watched his new patient furrow his brows and lower his gaze in thought. He gave another shrug after a few moments, looking up at Kaname anew as he answered, "What's on my mind?"

"What _is_ on your mind?"

"I hate that question."

Kaname blinked, raising his eyebrows. He stifled a chuckle. "Didn't you want me to ask it?"

"Why would I?"

"You suggested it."

"Doesn't mean I _wanted_ to be asked that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a meaningless question. I can't answer it when I'm being asked like that. The question itself makes me forget _what_ was actually on my mind."

Kaname's smile slowly stretched. He suppressed another chuckle. "I take it you've been asked that a lot?"

A snort. "Why do you think I remembered it in the first place?"

"Not because you wanted to talk about it, apparently."

"Definitely not."

Kaname didn't hold back his chuckle this time.

His new patient's name was Kiryuu Zero, currently a university student and, as it turned out, an adopted son of one of the most well-known and respected psychiatrists in their country. 

The young man's story was…well, relatively simple, Kaname supposed.

His parents had been killed in a fatal accident in his early teens. His younger brother — identical twin brother — had died from a terminal disease a few years later. And Zero himself had been put on a suicide watch after that.

Apparently, his adopted father had deemed it necessary. Apparently, the man had sent him to therapy for that same reason. Apparently, he was still worried, thus the long-term treatment.

That was the most useful information Kaname had gathered from Zero's file. There was more in it, of course, from four different therapists, but their observations hadn't provided much help. In the end, Kaname had made a decision to find out the rest on his own. 

He did. Quite a few things. Not right away, but over several sessions, he eventually did. 

The first — and most obvious, one that only blind wouldn't notice — was that Kiryuu Zero was beautiful.

A shallow observation, Kaname knew. But there was no helping it. Such was human nature — to look at the appearance first, to evaluate it first, to base one's first impression on it. Very rarely the right and hardly the most fair way to go about it, but even one who realized it couldn't do anything about it. 

Kaname knew he himself was handsome, very much so, and even his glasses that he often hoped to hide behind from most of his female patients did nothing to help make his face look more average. But Zero's beautify was different — of a different type opposite to Kaname's own. It was unique and ethereal and nothing like anything Kaname had seen before.

So that was established. His new patient was extremely pleasing to the eye. So much so that Kaname sometimes found it surprisingly difficult to look away. It was new to him, but he didn't believe it was something to be overly concerned about.

The second thing Kaname learned was that straight questions asked directly didn't work for Zero.

He didn't outright refuse to answer those, no. But he kept avoiding it, and rather masterly, too. It was obvious to Kaname the man had had _a lot_ of practice. He guessed it wasn't surprising, considering the number of therapists he had gone through. _And_ what his adopted father did for a living. Zero must have gotten pretty good at dealing with people trying to poke into his head, whether consciously or not.

Kaname didn't mind it though. On the contrary, he found it rather amusing. Zero gave him a run for his money.

The third thing that Kaname noticed about Zero was that he was stubborn. And he hated losing arguments. Almost childishly, but rather...adorably so. Kaname also believed that the man had a temper, even if he tried to keep it in check. It was just an assumption though, Kaname wasn't completely sure yet. He was still testing that theory. And he had to admit he was secretly having fun with it.

The fourth thing Kaname learned was that Zero _couldn't help_ asking questions, even when he _didn't_ _want_ to ask them. He also tended to use those as a distraction, and as a stalling technique, too. Kaname could see right through it, but he still went along with it. He liked it. He liked answering Zero's questions and he liked seeing the other's reactions to his answers.

The fifth thing Kaname found out about Zero was rather unexpected. He liked to cook. And he seemed to like sweets — at least so some of their conversations suggested. That took Kaname by surprise. He honestly hadn't expected such a discovery.

The sixth thing Kaname came to know about Zero was that the man could be extremely socially awkward when it came to some pretty simple things. He wasn't very sociable in general, and Kaname could tell with certainty that he preferred to keep to himself rather than be among other people. It was one of the things he struggled with the most. 

The seventh thing Kaname noticed was that Zero tended to give too much thought to little things one wouldn't normally pay attention to. The action rarely led anywhere and mostly ended up annoying Zero, which the man himself was aware of, but he still couldn't do anything about that little 'habit' of his.

The eighth thing Kaname learned about Zero was that he tended to bring up the most random topics, and he did it with extremely short and painfully uninformative sentences that did nothing to help his companion grasp the thread of the conversation. Normally, it would be frustrating for the one on the receiving end, but that wasn't how Kaname felt about it. He found it amusing, and he liked putting together verbal puzzles Zero kept unconsciously throwing at him.

The ninth thing Kaname now knew for sure about Zero was that he was… _fussy_ , for lack of a better word. He couldn't take it when something was out of place and he felt he _had to_ fix it.

Kaname had tested that theory after picking up on a few signs here and there. First he had moved — only a little bit — the leather loveseat Zero usually occupied during their sessions. Next, he had left a few of his books and folders where they hadn't belonged. Then he had made a little mess of the items on his work desk. Three experiments, three different sessions. 

Zero had been so bothered by the small changes Kaname had deliberately made he couldn't concentrate on either of those three sessions of theirs. In the end, he had been unable to hold back and fixed 'irregularities' after getting permission to do so from a feigning innocence Kaname.

Unsurprisingly, Kaname's theory had been proven true. Surprisingly…Kaname had realized he had _enjoyed_ Zero's discomfort. In a slightly weird way. 

And then there was another thing Kaname came to know that he wasn't sure _how_ he was supposed to feel about.

…He liked Zero. And it wasn't mere 'fondness' for his patient. Kaname _liked_ him. Perhaps a little too much, to the point of possibly finding the sentiment not quite appropriate — if at all.

That could be a problem.

**-o-**

"I hate honey."

Kaname blinked twice as he looked up from his leather-bound notebook, his eyes slightly widened. There in front of him was Zero, sitting motionlessly on the usual loveseat in his usual pose, with his arms hugging his knees to his chest and his eyes of pure amethyst cast down, thoughtful.

Kaname blinked again, remembering the words the other had — yet again — randomly blurted out. As usual, he had no idea where they had come from and why.

"…You hate honey?" Kaname asked, unable to suppress his mild curiosity.

Zero gave a small start, looking up. His eyes were wide as they blinked rapidly, surprise clear in them. Kaname blinked back, just as surprised.

"…Did I say that out loud?" Zero asked after some time.

Kaname's dark eyebrows rose at the question. "Unless either of us somehow turned telepathic, you did."

Zero blinked again, then tilted his head to the side. Kaname's eyes absently followed the very subtle ensuing movement of the strands of Zero's silver hair. "What if we did?"

Kaname arched an eyebrow, smiling amusedly at the idea. "That would be disturbing."

"Wouldn't it make your job easier?"

Kaname gave a light shrug. "I don't mind obstacles."

Amethyst eyes narrowed. "You just want to keep your thoughts private."

"Don't we all?"

One silver eyebrow rose. "Yet it still doesn't stop certain people from trying to get into someone else's head," Zero said — pretty much accused, really, albeit without any hostility behind his words — with a pointed look.

A small chuckle escaped Kaname, his smile only widened. "Such is my job," he defended himself.

Zero snorted, his lips curving into a small smirk. "Don't tell me you never do it outside of work. I would _never_ believe it."

"Hmm…" Kaname hummed, pretending to think, his brow creased into a concentrated frown and his hand went up to rub his chin. "Okay," he admitted with a nod, "maybe I do. But don't _you_ ever try it?"

Another snort. "I have enough of my own annoying thoughts, thank you very much."

Kaname's smile returned, turning into a fond one now, as he shook his head gently.

A comfortable silence ensued.

Sighing, Zero relaxed his hold on his drawn up legs and leaned forward to let his chin rest on the top of his knees. Kaname could see his gaze cloud slightly anew.

"I hate honey," Zero repeated after a while, bringing them back to the beginning.

Kaname nodded. "I believe we have established that fact already."

Zero ignored him. "I always did."

Kaname frowned. "Always hated honey?"

Zero nodded.

Kaname knew his next question was ridiculous, but he still couldn't help asking, "Why?"

Zero frowned, looking up at his therapist as he lifted his head and slowly leaned back in his seat. "Why not?"

Kaname frowned back, thinking for a moment. "Because it's good?"

"Are you _asking_ me?"

"I'm making a suggestion."

"You think it's good?"

"I think it's okay."

Zero tilted his head to the side. "Which part of it?"

Kaname took a pause to think. Then he offered, "It's sweet. And good for health." He shrugged. "That's about it, I guess."

"What about the smell?"

"Smell?"

"It's terrible."

"You find it offensive?"

Zero wrinkled his nose. The action amused Kaname for some reason. "Repulsive is more like it."

"We all have our preferences," Kaname replied with a shrug.

"I thought so too."

"Past tense?"

Zero nodded, frowning. His expression seemed positively troubled, and Kaname couldn't help finding it somewhat…adorable.

He mentally slapped himself for such thoughts.

"What changed?"

Zero pressed his lips together for a moment. "It's the cake."

Kaname felt even more confused now. "Cake?" he asked, frowning.

Zero nodded.

Kaname arched an elegant eyebrow when no verbal response came even after some while of waiting.

That prompted the silver-haired man to look up at him and elaborate, "Honey cake."

Kaname's frown deepened, leaning further towards confusion now. "Okay…" he responded slowly.

"It was surprisingly good when I tried it."

Finally Kaname started to grasp the thread of their conversation. He nodded wordlessly in response to Zero's revelation.

"And now I think I want more of it."

Another nod.

"Even though I'm not supposed to."

Kaname tilted his head to the side. "Why not?"

"Because I hate honey."

Kaname raised his eyebrows, his lips quirked into a smile. He held back for a whole second before chuckling and shaking his head in amusement.

"Don't laugh," Zero demanded, hugging his legs tighter. "It's serious."

"Of course it is," Kaname nodded with another chuckle.

Zero pressed his lips together, frowning.

Kaname managed to suppress his next chuckle. "Sorry," he apologized, "I really am."

"You're not," Zero accused.

"Of course I am," Kaname insisted.

A silver eyebrow arched skeptically. "Yeah, I can see _and_ hear that."

There was a short pause. "Okay," Kaname conceded, "maybe I'm not _that_ sorry."

"Or _at all_."

Kaname chuckled. "Or at all," he echoed.

Zero huffed. "You just don't get it."

A nod. "I don't," Kaname agreed. "That's why I need your help with it."

Zero pressed his lips together once more.

Kaname forced his expression into a more pleading — and less amused — one. "Please?" 

Zero kept quiet for a few long moments of stubbornness before finally yielding with a sigh.

He looked down at his knees, his brows furrowing slightly. "I feel totally cheated. Just imagine how much I might have been missing out on until now."

One dark eyebrow rose in quiet amusement. "By hating honey?"

Zero looked up at Kaname. "And avoiding it in all its forms."

"Well, it's not too late."

"Still annoys me though."

Kaname chuckled at what he perceived as a pout — a very subtle one — in Zero's voice. _And_ on his face.

He gave himself another mental slap upon realizing he deemed it cute.

**-o-**

It was ironic, really.

He had taken Zero's case in order to avoid getting himself another female patient developing inappropriate feelings towards him, only to end up being the one harboring such sentiments instead. For a patient.

Kaname knew it wasn't that uncommon — he had heard of such cases, and he had strongly disapproved of unprofessional conduct demonstrated by the therapists involved. There were rules against such behavior, and they existed for a reason. It was wrong of a therapist to take advantage of their patients who came to them for help and trusted them with their innermost thoughts and feelings.

Kaname knew it. He understood it. He really did.

But knowing right from wrong didn't necessarily mean acting in accordance with that knowledge. Unfortunately, such was human nature, and Kaname _was_ only human. And apparently, he wasn't that different from those therapists he deemed — he had thought so before and he _still_ did even now — a disgrace to his profession. He had come to realize it over his last few sessions with Zero.

And now he was struggling. He knew what was the appropriate action to take, and he knew he _must_ take it, but actually doing it turned out to be _much_ harder than thinking about it.

So he did nothing. He didn't transfer Zero to another specialist like he knew he should do, and their sessions continued as if nothing was amiss.

Kaname didn't say anything, too, so Zero remained blissfully ignorant, which further helped him grow more comfortable in his therapist's presence.

Kaname felt guilty about it, without a doubt. He knew he was using his position and Zero's steadily deepening trust in the worst possible way, and he realized it was wrong. But he also couldn't help deriving a certain amount of joy and satisfaction from the situation.

And then as more time passed, his guilt started to fade. Then so did the voice of his conscience, and before long…Kaname stopped hearing it altogether. His mind now had much more interesting things to concentrate on, after all.

"…He wanted to die, you know."

Namely, the man talking to him at this very moment. 

Zero lowered his gaze and hugged his knees tightly, visibly withdrawing into himself. It got quiet for a long while, and Kaname started to wonder if the other would speak again at all.

Zero did. After some time. "At the very end…when the pain got too much to bear…"

Kaname chose to listen quietly without saying anything so he wouldn't scare Zero off.

Zero curled into himself, his voice got even quieter as he continued, "…He wanted to end it all." His arms tightened around his legs. His body language screamed of discomfort, but he still continued, "…And he asked me to help him…"

Kaname's eyes widened a fraction at the unexpected revelation, but he made sure to promptly relax his features into his usual expression, even if Zero wasn't looking at him. He waited another long while of silence. Then he risked asking, as carefully as he could, "Did you?"

It took Zero a few moments to respond with a shake of his head.

"I see…"

More silence.

"…I couldn't," Zero spoke once more, only then lifting his eyes to meet Kaname's gaze. "Even though he was in so much pain, I couldn't let him go like he wanted me to." 

Kaname could see those amethyst eyes glaze over with unshed tears as they lowered anew. His hands gripped his notebook tightly as he forced himself to stay in place instead of going over to Zero and hugging him.

"…It couldn't be helped," Kaname tried to comfort his patient verbally. "Saying goodbye to the ones we love the most is never easy."

Zero leaned forward, partially burying his face in his knees, leaving only half of his face visible. His tears didn't fall, but Kaname could see them in his eyes all too clearly.

Kaname didn't hold back this time. He got up and made his way over to Zero, taking a seat beside him and placing a comforting hand on his back. Zero tensed up, but then slowly relaxed, silently allowing the contact.

Bad move on both their parts, as Kaname came to know later.

The urge to touch the object of his affection had only kept getting stronger since that day, and the act of resisting it had become Kaname's personal little torture. 

**-o-**

The idea struck him unexpectedly. Kaname knew it wouldn't solve his problem, but he hoped it would at least make him feel better. Putting one's thoughts and feelings on paper had that effect. 

A letter.

He wrote one. To Zero. It was the first real letter he had ever written.

He didn't send it though, at least not at first, and not for a while. But when he did, he did it anonymously, without signing it. It was better that way.

At the beginning, he had only wanted to express his true feelings, to tell Zero just how beautiful and perfect he was, how wonderful to talk to and be around.

He had certainly done it. But somehow...once hadn't been enough — not even close. So he wrote and sent the second letter. Then the third one.

One every month.

But it still wasn't enough.

He wrote and sent more letters, one every two weeks this time.

Still not enough.

He made it one letter per week, and he decided he would have to make do with it.

And there was also another thing…

He had started 'watching' Zero. Outside of his office. He wasn't doing it on his own though, he had entrusted his family's private investigator with the task, if that made it any better.

Which it didn't, Kaname knew. There was no way around it. He had become the one thing he had never thought he _could_ become.

A stalker.

It all had started as something completely innocent, perhaps even sweet. Somewhere along the way, however...it had somehow escalated into something unstoppable and absolutely uncontrollable, and even Kaname himself had no way of managing it.

Kaname knew by then he _seriously_ needed professional help. One that he wouldn't seek — naturally.

Oh, the irony.

 **-o-**

It kept escalating. One didn't need to be a genius to tell that much.

Naturally, Kaname had long realized it, but by now it had gotten so bad he couldn't even come up with any excuses — let alone proper ones — anymore. 

So he stopped doing that altogether, long past the stages of both denial and acceptance. It was no use anyway, so why bother? Embracing his obsession — which it most certainly _was_ by now, rather than simple affection or fascination — was much more productive _and_ satisfying. Even the initial guilt Kaname had felt about his actions had dissipated, and now… Well, now his little hobby of 'watching over' Zero and writing anonymous letters to him was just a remarkably enjoyable part of Kaname's routine. 

One that he was going through right at this moment in the privacy of his condo with a glass of red wine in his hand, checking out photos and videos of Zero taken by his private investigator during the week.

Zero at school, at lectures and during breaks between them.

Zero at one of his favorite cafes.

Zero walking through a park on his way home.

Zero with one of his very few friends that also happened to be his adopted sister — Yuuki was her name, Kaname believed. She was a bit _too_ friendly with Zero for Kaname's liking, and he thought she needed to learn the concept of personal space, but he could tolerate her. For the time being. 

Zero at school again, on different days, with different people, one of which in particular caught Kaname's attention. And not in a good way.

It was a girl. A pretty little thing, very perky and sociable — a bit _too_ sociable, in Kaname's opinion — and smiley and _clearly_ interested in _his_ Zero in _that_ sense, which Kaname _didn't_ appreciate. She was insistent, too. Quite frustratingly so. Kaname had seen her before in other photos and videos, and she had been appearing there more frequently lately. Which was starting to seriously grate on Kaname's nerves.

For a few long moments there, he wondered if he should do something about it, if he should rid Zero of the little nuisance. He knew that was what the girl really was to Zero, but his beloved found it too hard to tell her, too kind and shy and socially awkward to do so.

 _God, he was_ adorable _._

But that wasn't the point, at least not at the moment. Nor was it the problem.

The problem was that stupid girl that kept bothering Zero every chance she got. She just seemed to be unable to read between the lines, and Kaname couldn't help wondering if he perhaps should _assist_ her in it. For all their sakes.

He decided against it though. For now. He would give it — would give _Zero_ — some more time, and meanwhile…

He would much rather continue enjoying new additions to his wonderful 'Zero collection' some more.

…And then he would write his next letter.

 _Yeah,_ Kaname mentally nodded to himself, _that sounded like a good idea._

**-o-**

"Are those real glasses?" came a bafflingly random question, startling Kaname.

Zero did tend to do that — to ask and say things in such a way that often caught the dark-haired man off guard. It was one of the things Kaname enjoyed about his beloved.

Although he still had to take a few moments to recover. "I beg your pardon?"

"Your glasses," Zero emphasized his words by pointing at his own eyes. "Are they real or just for show?"

Dark eyebrows rose at that. "There's such a thing as glasses 'for show'?" He honestly had no idea and was actually a little curious to know. That, and the purpose of such a thing.

Zero nodded, answering the first voiced question. 

"And there are people who wear them?"

Upon receiving another nod, Kaname asked his next question, "For what purpose exactly?"

"It depends. A friend of mine, for one, thinks they make her look smarter. Or more serious." Zero gave a shrug. Unbeknown to him, Kaname had a pretty good inkling which friend Zero was referring to. "I don't know, something of that sort."

Kaname took a few moments to consider his answer. "Am I right to assume she lacks those qualities in reality?"

"Mm," Zero confirmed with a nod, unsurprisingly. It completely corresponded with Kaname's impression about the girl in question.

One dark eyebrow rose inquiringly. "Do you think _I_ lack them?"

"Not those particular qualities, but maybe you _think_ you lack some others. I did say it depends."

Kaname could feel a smile threatening to break out on his face, but he forced it down. "What do _you_ think _I_ think I lack then?"

"Maybe you want to look more doctor-like," Zero made a suggestion.

Kaname arched an amused eyebrow. "I don't look like a doctor to you?"

"You do. But maybe it's because I know you're one. Or because of the glasses."

The last bit was certainly a peculiar thought to suggest. Kaname absently wondered if there could actually be any truth to it.

"Would you like me to remove them?" he offered almost playfully. 

"I'd like to know if they're real."

"Will you be disappointed if they're not?"

Kaname didn't miss the slight change in Zero's demeanor, nor the way the other leaned forward. He was intrigued. _Good._ Kaname liked being the center of Zero's attention, he liked it when his beloved showed interest in him, no matter how slight, no matter of what kind. "So they're fake?"

A small smile tugged at Kaname's lips. "I never said that."

"You're so difficult," Zero all but huffed as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. He tried not to show his exasperation, but Kaname could see it clearly. And the small pout on Zero's face did nothing to convince him otherwise. 

"Are you giving up so soon?" Kaname teased. He couldn't help it. His beloved was too cute, he was simply _begging_ for it, albeit completely unconsciously. Which only made it all the harder to resist the urge.

A seemingly indifferent shrug was what came as Zero's response. _Seemingly._ Zero wasn't fooling anyone, and certainly not Kaname. 

He pressed on, "Never took you for a quitter."

"I'm not," Zero denied with an offended expression. "I just lost interest in the subject."

Kaname did little to hide how completely unconvinced he was as he replied, "If you say so."

"I did," Zero insisted.

"Sure, I believe you."

"I really did."

"Yeah," Kaname nodded. "I hear you."

Zero scowled before turning away with an annoyed huff.  

Kaname gave a discreet chuckle, undeniably amused by his beloved's reaction. He hadn't known before that getting on someone's nerves could be so much fun. And he was certainly having it. Fun, he meant. Even though he realized his current behavior was completely unprofessional.

Mentally shaking his head to get rid of unnecessary thoughts, he straightened up in his seat and, switching into his more professional mode, opened his leather-bound notebook and took out his fountain pen. "Now," he spoke after a few moments of silence, "seeing as we have that sorted out…shall we begin?"

Zero took a glance at a vintage clock atop a low bookshelf standing against the wall. A sigh escaped him at the sight he was met with.

Another smile stretched Kaname's lips at Zero's reaction. He knew the reason for it all too well. That, and the fact that Zero was probably mentally cursing him now, if the younger man's silently accusing gaze that he was now drilling Kaname with was anything to go by.

Kaname felt a small shiver of excitement run up and down his spine. If only Zero knew what he was doing to him.

…Then again, it was probably better that he didn't. He would have been horrified — if not mildly traumatized — otherwise for sure.

**-o-**

It was two weeks and two letters later that Kaname slipped for the very first time in months.

He didn't mean to, he honestly _didn't_. But he couldn't help himself. His beloved was simply way too much of a temptation, a sin, a forbidden fruit too sweet and alluring to resist. So, in essence, Kaname couldn't be blamed for his little slip. It was too cruel a provocation to be subjected to, especially after the terrible morning he had had thanks to one of his _most_ troublesome former patients. 

Kaname had expected it to be a perfectly wonderful day. He had another session with his dear Zero, after all. Nothing was supposed to spoil it — Kaname had made sure of it, and _yet_ …

She just _had_ to come. That delusional, foolish woman that wouldn't take no for an answer no matter how many times Kaname had made it perfectly clear that he had never been, was or would be interested in her.

She had to come and ruin everything with her presence alone.

She had to make a scene with her never-ending hysterical drama queen nonsense.

She had to be her inconsiderate, insufferable self and take up at least _half_ — a very precious half — of his session with Zero.

Thick-headedness and conceit made a terrible combination, especially in cases when the one possessing such qualities got rejected not just once or twice but _repeatedly_. And yet she _still_ refused to listen and kept coming back time and time again.

The stupid woman was starting to become a real nuisance. One that needed to be dealt with. But Kaname would take care of that later. He had much more pleasant things to concentrate on now.

Things like Zero. A _sleeping_ Zero. An innocently sleeping on Kaname's leather loveseat Zero — breathtakingly beautiful and so, so wonderfully vulnerable it almost hurt. The unexpected— not to mention _delicious —_ sight Kaname had been met with upon entering his office had rendered him unable to breathe for a while.

It was just too cruel, too much of a temptation to resist.

Kaname did though. He actually managed to do it. At least at first, for some time. The closer he got to the peacefully and so obliviously sleeping object of his affection, however…the weaker his self-control got. And then at some point it snapped altogether, like a thin thread that had been strained way beyond its limits.

He couldn't help it. For a few dangerous moments, his desire overpowered his rational thinking.

Kaname didn't even notice it happening. He was standing by the door one second, and then hovering over Zero's slumbering form the next. He hadn't realized he had moved, but he obviously had, and he must have done it quietly enough not to disturb Zero. His beloved hadn't so much as stirred.

_Aah, how careless… How terribly, terribly careless of his beloved to leave himself so vulnerable to the predator he had no idea was so close to him. Close and only getting closer with every passing day._

Slowly, Kaname leaned down and placed his hands on the back of the loveseat at either side of Zero's head.

Still nothing, not even a twitch. Honestly, was his beloved doing it on purpose? Was he testing him? Was he trying to _provoke_ Kaname…?

Well, it was working. How could it not?

Kaname could feel his heart flutter and start pumping faster as he leaned further in, carefully, cautiously. His breathing quickened, sounding impossibly loud to his ears, same as his heartbeat. It was a wonder Zero hadn't woken up yet. Kaname was almost certain the entire building could hear him, no matter how quiet he tried to be.

And yet Zero remained blissfully unaware of the danger he was in and cruelly — albeit unintentionally — ignorant of Kaname's suffering.

For one delusional moment of complete irrationality, Kaname felt a spark of resentment towards the silver-haired man. For coming into his life. For changing it. For doing what he had done to Kaname — for messing with his head and turning him into someone he wasn't, someone he wasn't supposed to be, someone he had never thought he _could_ become, someone…someone Kaname himself neither knew nor recognized anymore. For ruining Kaname without even knowing about it, and without so much as trying, too.

_It was outrageous._

What Zero had done to him, what he _kept_ doing to him, was outrageous.

And now this.

_He was doing it on purpose, wasn't he? Tempting Kaname like this, testing him, teasing him, playing with him…_

He was just _asking_ to be taught a lesson, this cruel little angel of his.

Kaname's hand moved, he leaned closer — so close he could feel Zero's warm, even breaths on his skin, to see each and every one of his silver eyelashes that were normally so easy to miss, to enjoy his wonderful scent that seemed nothing short of intoxicating to Kaname.

And then he felt it, that pale skin. Very briefly, for no more than a second of a fleeting touch with the back of his fingers. Kaname had always wondered whether that skin was as smooth and pleasant to the touch as it appeared to be. Now he knew for sure it wasn't — it was better. Even that momentary contact had been enough for him to realize it. _And_ to come back to his senses.

Kaname's fingers twitched, aching to return to Zero's cheek and explore it more. But they didn't. Kaname didn't let them, he held back. It was killing him, but he did.

He took a deep breath, then released it. Then again. And again. In and out, slow and steady. He had to calm down.

He did. After some time, with great effort, he did. 

His hand returned to the back of the loveseat, his fingers gripped it tightly. 

For a long while, Kaname stayed still and simply observed his beloved's face, unwittingly mesmerized by its ethereal perfection. Slowly, he leaned down, shortening the distance between him and Zero until there was barely any space left at all, hovering over the younger man's lips for a breathless second before turning his head and leaning close to Zero's ear. 

"You really shouldn't be so careless, my love," Kaname whispered, nuzzling his cheek against Zero's. "You might not get off so easily next time…" Unable to help himself, he brushed his lips over Zero's cheek in a gentle, fleeting caress, and then he reluctantly — every fiber of his body _screamed_ against it, but he _had to_ — forced himself to pull away, returning only for a few moments a short while later to place a blanket over his beloved.

Zero shifted slightly, but showed no signs of waking up.

Kaname's lips quirked into a warm smile as he observed his beloved, taking his sweet time before turning around, making his way to his leather armchair and settling down in it to watch the silver-haired love of his life from a safe distance. 

His day had started off terribly, but it had changed with Zero's arrival. Then it had gotten better with the tiny slice of heaven Kaname had gotten a taste of. And it only kept getting even better after that.

They didn't have much time left after Zero had woken up, so Kaname took a risk and asked his beloved out. Granted, he didn't exactly phrase the invitation in that explicit manner — he knew he couldn't, it would only scare Zero off. His beloved wasn't ready to take their relationship to the next level. Not yet. Kaname knew he had to tread carefully, so he did. He started off lightly and asked Zero out for coffee. Zero hesitated, naturally, but Kaname was able to convince him. It turned out the younger man actually did want to talk about his problems for once, and Kaname was only too happy to oblige. 

They went to a small cafe not far from Kaname's office, and they had a wonderful time there. It was one of those extremely rare occasions when Zero _really_ opened up to him, and Kaname loved and enjoyed every second of it, even if he did feel reasonably guilty as he listened to his beloved talk about his doubts and worries — ones Kaname knew he was largely responsible for.

Still, he couldn't stop doing what he had been doing for months now. Nor did he want to. Certainly not at this point, when he had gotten so far and so _close_ to his beloved. It was simply beyond his capability to give up now.

Which was confirmed the next day, when Kaname delivered his next letter to Zero. _Personally._ For the first time. And not just to Zero's mailbox, but directly to his apartment — _into_ his apartment, right onto a coffee table in his living room. For the very first time.

Kaname hadn't thought that day would come. The day when he would decide to actually use the set of spare keys to Zero's apartment, the one that he had had his private investigator secretly make for him a while ago.

It was a total breach of privacy, and an actual crime at that. Not to mention an act no rational person in their right mind would perform. 

…How very unfortunate for both of them that Kaname clearly wasn't one of those anymore.

**-o-**

"Have you tried getting help?" Kaname asked carefully, playing the good doctor that he was supposed to be. It was actually pretty fun, albeit a little tiring at times. He was sincere though, in his intentions to help Zero. He wanted nothing more than to soothe his beloved's beautiful soul. That, and to have it. All of it. Along with the sinfully tempting flesh it was enclosed in. 

Kaname discreetly licked his lips as he lowered his eyes after running them over Zero's form, hoping his glasses hid the hunger that he knew was in them. 

"Isn't that what I'm here for?"

Mentally shaking his head to rid himself of unnecessary thoughts, Kaname looked up and gave Zero a small, warm smile as he explained, "I meant the police. Have you shown them those letters?"

Zero uttered a barely audible _'Oh'_ , then nodded slightly. "Yeah, I actually have."

"And?" Kaname prompted, already knowing the answer to that question.

"And it went nowhere." Zero shrugged, pretending not to care. "But that's okay."

Kaname wasn't convinced."Is it?"

Another shrug. "It's not like it can be helped."

"What are you going to do then?"

Zero lowered his eyes thoughtfully. God, that little frown that formed between his brows every time he got absorbed in thought was _adorable_.

"…Wait for the sender to get bored and move on?" Zero offered when he looked up again after some time.

_Now, that wasn't going to happen._

Kaname suppressed a snort that threatened to leave him at the very idea. Forcing as earnest a frown as he could manage, he asked, "And if they don't?"

"Of course they will."

 _Impossible,_ Kaname wanted to scoff, but he kept himself in check and played along instead, "What makes you so sure?"

"Doesn't everybody get bored eventually?"

"Not if they're sincere about their feelings." And he was. God knew he _was_. More than one could _ever_ be. More than he could even _imagine_ himself to be.

Zero's eyebrows furrowed anew. "They don't even know me. What feelings _can_ there be?"

 _Oh, if only Zero_ knew _…_

Then again, it was a good thing that he didn't. It was still too soon. Kaname knew his beloved wasn't ready. Yet. 

"From what you've told me, they seem to know you rather well," Kaname reminded.

Zero pressed his lips together. Kaname _loved_ that stubborn look on that face. "Okay. _I_ don't know them."

"You might."

Zero didn't try to hide his bewilderment. "What?"

Kaname explained, "It can very well be someone relatively close to you." _Someone he trusted, someone he leaned on, someone he didn't even_ think _to suspect…_ "It's not uncommon in cases like this."

"That's…" Zero trailed off, pausing for a long moment before finishing, "…a scary thought." He hugged himself, his eyes lowered and brow furrowed in contemplation. The vulnerability he now exuded was intoxicating, and it did weird things to Kaname. Things like bringing out his darker — _predatory_ even — side. It was almost scary, yet incomprehensibly thrilling at the same time. "It can't be that in my case though. Nobody I know would do such a thing, even as a prolonged prank."

A mirthless smile stretched Kaname's lips. "You'd be surprised what a person is capable of given the right stimulus." _And dear God, was Zero exactly_ that _and even_ more _to Kaname._ "In their conscious mind, they more than likely realize they shouldn't act a certain way and they try not to, doing their best to act the way that is socially acceptable, as the world around them demands."

Zero drew up one leg and put his arms around it loosely, unconsciously leaning forward a bit as he listened to the brunet man. "But?" he prompted curiously. Kaname _had_ established a long time ago that his beloved _was_ a curious one.

Kaname's smile widened into a more genuine one. "But the urge is just _that_ strong and they can only resist it for so long before finally yielding." He had always known that to be true, but it was only now that he actually _understood_ it. _Truly_ understood it.

"Isn't there a way to win against it?"

"Not if it's powerful enough." _And it certainly was._

"That's…depressing."

 _Oh, didn't_ Kaname _know it all too well._ "It sure is," he agreed with a brief, wry smile.

Zero blinked, asking after a short moment, "Are you speaking from experience?"

Kaname blinked, his eyes widening in surprise. It took him a few seconds to regain his composure under Zero's curious gaze. A small smile returning to his lips, Kaname was about to offer his reply when the silence was interrupted by hesitant knocking on the door.

Raising an eyebrow at the interruption, Kaname excused himself and went to answer the door.

"Kuran-sensei, I'm so sorry to interrupt, but…um…" a young woman that was the administrator of the establishment started apologetically, visibly troubled for some reason.

"What is it?" Kaname prompted, distressing the already nervous woman even further with a hint of impatience sneaking into his tone in spite of his usual outward composure.

"I-I'm so sorry," the woman apologized again, "b-but it's _that_ patient again. She refuses to leave and-"

"I see," Kaname interrupted, his expression hardening. He knew _exactly_ which patient the woman was talking about. "I'll take care of it in a moment," he promised dismissively before turning to Zero. "Kiryuu-kun, I'm terribly sorry. I'll be back shortly." Receiving a nod from Zero, Kaname nodded back and exited the room, the door closing behind him with a soft click.

Mentally cursing his troublesome former patient for putting him in this position _again_ , Kaname followed the administrator down the long hallway where the said former patient was anxiously waiting for him.

It was the same story all over again. Same words, same demands, same hysterical accusations, same unreasonable threats. She was still as delusional as ever, and she was _still_ a goddamn _nuisance_. One that cost Kaname the remaining time of his session with Zero.

The foolish woman should be thankful Kaname didn't outright _strangle_ her right there and then. 

That was it. The last drop.

This annoying problem of his _needed_ to be dealt with. For good.

…Kaname didn't have to wait long for that to happen.

A few days was all it took. That, and a couple more conversations — unpleasant for both sides, but remarkably effective, as Kaname would come to realize a little later, upon getting the exact outcome he had hoped for.

It was a painfully familiar to him pattern by now. She would take the pills. She would call him. And she would let him know what she had done — all just to have him swoop in and _save_ her like a knight in shining armor that she apparently took him for.

For the life of him, Kaname couldn't understand _why_ the woman would see him that way. He was no knight, and he was far from that kind, caring hero that she imagined him to be. She _must_ be delusional to actually believe him to be that.

But then again, she most likely _was_.

Conceit, hysteria, vivid imagination and stubborn persistence were a dangerous mix. Kaname had long realized that, and he had referred the unstable woman to another professional right away.

Her reaction had been immediate — it had been the first time she had tried that trick of purposefully overdosing herself and calling him for help. 

Foolishly, Kaname had picked up the phone, and he had _saved_ her, just like she had wanted.

Even more foolishly, he had done it every time the stupid woman had pulled that trick. A cheap, dramatic trick intended only to attract his attention. Could there be anything more ridiculous — and pathetic, not to mention crazy — than that? Kaname didn't think so.

And now she was doing it again. Or trying to, at the very least. Albeit unsuccessfully.

But Kaname wouldn't be a fool this time. He would be a heartless, cruel bastard that he actually was. It was something he should have done _months_ ago, when the woman had started bothering him not only at his workplace, but at his home — his _home_ , the address of which she sure as hell _shouldn't have_ known — as well.

She had long turned into an unbearable annoyance, and those had no place in Kaname's life. He had tried nicely time and time again, but obviously, that hadn't worked. So he simply had no choice other than to do it harshly…right?

Granted, he wouldn't even have to lift a finger. In fact, not lifting a finger was quite literally all it took.

So he did just that.

His phone kept ringing. Kaname picked it up and checked the caller ID, letting his gaze linger on it for a few seconds, then switched the device to silent mode, placed it back in its place and walked out of the room, hoping he would never have to see that hateful name displayed on the screen of his phone ever again.

Before long, he got his wish.

It became known to the public the following day. Kaname was amazed at how fast the mass media had acted.

Shirabuki Sara, a famous actress and model, had been found dead of an apparent sleeping pills overdose. The entertainment industry had lost its queen, and it was now in deep mourning. The woman had been a remarkably talented person, adored by those who hadn't known her and despised yet still admired by those who had. The world would miss her, and she would be forever remembered.

Kaname breathed a sigh of relief and poured himself a glass of his favorite red wine. A wry smile tugged at his lips as he shook his head while listening to the news about his most troublesome former patient's untimely demise. Turning to his TV screen, he took a few moments to regard the woman's picture there, then raised his glass and drank to his long-awaited liberation.

 **-o-**

"…Are you okay?" came Zero's question out of nowhere, surprising — and confusing — Kaname.

Blinking, the brunet tilted his head slightly to the side, his brows furrowing in silent inquiry.

"Your patient…" Zero elaborated after some time, "…that woman…" he continued hesitantly, trailing off, before averting his gaze and hugging himself as he finished in a quieter tone, "…the one I saw here before…"

Kaname's frown smoothed out, his eyes widened. "Oh…" was all he could offer at first, still somewhat taken aback. It took him another few moments to recover enough to be able to give a proper response. "I'm alright," he said with a small smile, genuinely touched by Zero's concern.

Those wonderful amethyst eyes returned to him, filled with an endearing mixture of subdued relief and residual concern. Kaname couldn't help the slight widening of his smile. His dear Zero was just too kind for his own good.

"Thank you, Kiryuu-kun." He had to make a conscious effort to call his beloved by his last name rather than his given name as he would have liked to do so much more. It was getting harder not to slip.

Zero blinked, tensing up a little — an unconscious body response on his part without a doubt. "For what?"

"For worrying about me."

Zero tensed further, his back straightened. Kaname could see he was silently panicking inside, unable to come up with an appropriate reaction to his words. That was another fact Kaname had learned about Zero; he was really bad at handling such things as gratitude, compliments, gifts and so forth. When faced with those, he would unfailingly go red in the face — one of the loveliest of his responses, in Kaname's _totally_ objective opinion — and then either clam up, or enter his denial mode. Like now.

"I wasn't."

 _Denial mode it was then,_ Kaname mentally nodded to himself, suppressing the further widening of his smile that was by now threatening to turn into a full-blown smirk. 

Zero pressed his lips together in that adorably stubborn manner of his that Kaname fancied so much as he insisted, "I _wasn't_." He got even redder then though, his blush spreading from his cheeks to the rest of his face, including his ears.

 _A new record,_ Kaname absently noted to himself with a mental hum and a nod of approval. It was definitely the reddest he had managed to make his dear Zero become so far — _and_ the furthest the color had spread.

"Of course," Kaname replied with an actual nod. "Whatever you say."

Zero bristled up. Probably in response to Kaname's openly amused tone and smile — the man didn't even try to hide those.

"I really _wasn't_ ," Zero insisted once more, his eyes narrowing into a glare. "It's the truth." It would have been convincing and quite intimidating, that glare, if it wasn't for Zero's still blushing face that now also sported a small pout.

"I know it is," Kaname answered with another nod, still making very little effort to hide his amusement and seem more convincing. "I would never doubt your words, Kiryuu-kun."

Zero's eyes narrowed further, his lips pressed tighter together.

A while of silence followed, a rather long one. At some point, Kaname allowed a thought that _maybe_ he had gotten just _a little bit_ carried away there, and _maybe_ he should stop and call it a truce. Right now.

_But damn…_

_It was so hard to deny himself this little entertainment._

Kaname arched an eyebrow at his favorite patient. "Are you trying to give me the silent treatment now?"

"Not _'trying'_ ," Zero countered.

Kaname snorted, a corner of his mouth lifting. "As of now, it definitely is 'trying'." He shifted slightly in his seat, raising his hand to rest his cheek against his knuckles. "You did well the first few minutes though, considering."

Zero scowled. Unfortunately, all it did was make Kaname's mirth grow and his lips stretch into a smirk. Kaname _loved_ getting a rise out of his beloved. It was extremely unprofessional of him as a therapist, but he had long stopped regarding their time together as mere sessions.

The two entered a staring contest. It lasted for quite a while — or rather, Zero managed to make it last for quite a while, commendably so. But he still caved in in the end. He couldn't help it. They both knew it.

"…I wasn't worried about you," Zero insisted yet again.

Kaname gave a soft chuckle and shook his head. His beloved _was_ a stubborn one, wasn't he?

"Alright," Kaname nodded, putting up both his hands in a pacifying gesture, surrendering for real this time, "alright, I concede."

Zero breathed a quiet sigh, his shoulders dropping as tension seeped out of his form. He nodded his satisfaction with Kaname's answer.

"What was it then?" Kaname asked next, curious.

Zero blinked at the other, his eyes widened a fraction. "What was what?"

"Why did you ask?"

Silver eyebrows furrowed briefly. "Asked what?"

"If I was okay."

Amethyst eyes widened once more, this time in realization, as Zero let out a barely audible _'Oh'_. He looked down, hugging his knees closeto his chest. "I just wanted to…well, um…" he trailed off, averting his gaze to the side, fidgeting slightly, "…to say I was…um…sorry, I guess, but…" 

"But what?" Kaname prompted gently.

Zero bit his lower lip, his brows drawing together. It was a while before he managed to look up anew. "But I didn't know how to say it," he admitted.

Kaname's smile returned, softer now. "I see." He had always found it endearing about Zero; that awkwardness of his. And honesty. 

A while of silence passed, then Kaname added, "Thank you."

Zero looked down, his pale cheeks changing their hue to a very light pink. "Mm," he nodded, then leaned forward, curling into himself and resting his chin on his knees.

Kaname let a few moments pass before asking his next question.

"Would you like to start?"

Zero didn't look up, but his answer was immediate, "Yes, please."

Kaname suppressed an amused chuckle and only shook his head with a fond smile playing on his lips.

 **-o-**

Kaname could tell his latest letter had affected his dear Zero more than all the previous ones.

It had scared his beloved, made him realize how _real_ everything was, how _serious_ , made him become more wary and put his guard up.

It had never been Kaname's intention to cause Zero such distress. He felt terrible about it, he truly did, but even so...a small — or not so small — part of him actually liked seeing Zero like that. It found his fear intoxicating, his vulnerability impossibly tempting, his quiet, uncertain panic endearing, and his utter helplessness so, _so_ exhilarating it was disturbing. 

It was horrible, but it was true, to Kaname's own surprise and shame.

And he wanted more of it, more of those previously unknown to him emotions Zero's latest reaction had made him experience. He wanted to see _more_ , to _have_ more of his beloved.

So he made sure to get what he wanted. Like he always did.

He had his private investigator install a hidden surveillance camera in Zero's apartment. Just one. He wasn't a _complete_ stalker — he _could_ allow his beloved at least _some_ privacy, so one camera was enough. For starters.

It didn't make it okay, Kaname realized, but it was enough to ease his _still_ somewhat existing — surprisingly so — conscience.

So, yeah. Just one camera was enough for now. And it was okay. A bit — no, _definitely_ — overboard, but still okay, more or less. _And_ very timely, too. It provided him with some crucial information that _couldn't_ be left unattended.

Like the fact that his dear Zero had stopped reading his letters.

That was upsetting. Understandable, of course — Kaname had actually expected it to happen at some point. But still upsetting.

Nevertheless, Kaname wanted to be patient and give his beloved some time. He knew it was the right — the wise — thing to do. And he honestly tried to do it, the right thing. But he failed. Miserably.

He wrote another letter and sent it. A little earlier than usual, too.

It was never read.

Kaname's frustration grew. Still, he forced himself to wait. Not for too long though.

He wrote and sent another letter. Again, earlier than usual.

Zero didn't read it either.

Kaname's frustration kept growing. He didn't force himself to wait this time.

Next letter. Same result.

Kaname felt the first sparks of anger. And a very slight sense of twisted satisfaction. He didn't try to rein in his emotions anymore.

More letters, same results each time.

Zero grew more distressed, his fear deepened. He realized he was being watched in his apartment as well, and he turned the place upside down in his desperate search for any hidden cameras or microphones. Kaname's heart was racing madly throughout the entire process, but thankfully, Zero didn't find anything in the end. Kaname's private investigator was good — he had hidden the camera well.

Still, Zero wasn't convinced by the results of his search, Kaname could tell. That observation was confirmed when the silver-haired man left his apartment and never came back.

Kaname's first reaction was worry. He had gotten so used to keeping an eye on his beloved almost at all times it unnerved him not to know where he was and with whom.

That worry threatened to quickly morph into outright panic, but before it could happen, Kaname managed to reason with himself and calm down somewhat. It took him some time and quite a bit of effort, but he did succeed in the end.

 _It was okay. There was nothing to worry about,_ Kaname mentally told himself, repeating the words a few times for good measure.

 _Zero had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,_ he reminded himself. _Not from him. He had made sure of it._

Kaname took a deep breath, then slowly released it, willing his composure to return.

 _Zero couldn't escape him, not now and not ever._ Kaname had him under constant surveillance, he could find him _anywhere_ in the world.

_He had all the cards. He always would._

Kaname nodded to himself, much calmer now. Then he fetched his phone and dialed his private investigator's number, finding out Zero's location within seconds, and then ultimately — his chosen destination. 

He was at his friend's place. That friend was a male, and his name was Kaito. Kaname remembered seeing him both in the photos and videos. And Zero spent the night with him.

Kaname wasn't particularly happy about it. He wasn't happy _at all_ , if he were honest with himself. But he forced himself to let it go. He could forgive his beloved his little act of selfishness. Or so he kept telling himself.

A few days passed. Zero was _still_ at _that man's_ place, doing _God knew what_. It was driving Kaname insane, but once again, he forced himself to calm down and let things be. He could be patient _and_ generous enough to give Zero the time and space he needed. Or so he wanted to believe. 

It had been a week, and Zero had yet to return home. Kaname's patience was wearing thin. Very, very thin. He didn't know how much longer he could take.

Another couple of days later, Kaname decided that enough was enough and it was time for Zero to come back home, under his watchful eye. So he made it happen. 

A little warning was all it took. An accident. One Kaname arranged to happen to Zero's friend. Nothing too serious, but it had just enough impact. And coupled with _another_ letter delivered to _Kaito's_ residence…it produced _just_ the result Kaname wanted.

Zero wasted no time returning home. And he read all the letters he had refrained from opening so far.

The triumph Kaname felt during those moments was so sinfully intoxicating it was frightening.

He knew then he wouldn't be able to wait any longer.

_It was time._

**-o-**

Kaname was thorough in his preparation for what he considered the most important day of his life.

Their new home was ready and waiting for them.

His plan of covering their tracks was already in motion. No one would suspect a thing. No one would be able to find them — find _Zero_. Not unless _Kaname_ allowed it.

Everything was set. And so was Kaname. 

He looked impeccable — even more so than usual. He made sure of it, he was going to his beloved's home, after all. _Officially_ — for the very first time. _Un_ officially…he had already been there more than once, but that was his little secret to keep.

He came bearing gifts, too, like any proper guest would. He had gone to one of Zero's favorite cafes and bought his beloved's favorite tea and sweets, just to lift Zero's mood. He knew his angel needed it. He had been stressed out lately. He needed something to help calm his nerves.

Or so Kaname tried to justify himself as he spiked Zero's drink with a sedative.

He was helping. He was merely _helping_ his beloved get some much-needed rest.

…And making it a little easier for himself to execute his plan. It was a win-win situation. No harm done, really.

Kaname gave himself a mental nod as he took a deep breath and then released it slowly before raising his hand to knock on Zero's door. 

Some while passed with no response. Kaname couldn't hear any movement beyond the door either, so he repeated his previous action.

Another while of silence passed, soon followed by a quiet shuffling sound. Kaname felt his heart flutter at the realization that his beloved was right there in front of him, with the door being the only thing separating them. And the distance between them only kept shortening, slowly but surely.

Eventually the door opened to reveal Zero's familiar form. Kaname felt his lips stretch into a smile. It was a delight to finally see his beloved in the flesh, even if he had to admit that the sight made him worry. He could see Zero was tired — exhausted, really — and malnourished, and he knew _he_ was to blame for it. He felt terrible about it, truly, and in his mind, he swore to make it up to his beloved later.

"Hello, Kiryuu-kun," Kaname greeted politely. "I'm sorry to come unannounced. I hope I didn't disturb you."

Zero blinked up curiously at him. No words could express how much Kaname had missed that expression of innocent wonder on that breathtakingly beautiful face. "…Your glasses…" Zero said absently with another blink.

Kaname's eyes widened for a moment. A small chuckle escaped him before he replied, "Oh, that's right. I rarely wear them outside of my home and office." His smile widened a fraction, turning somewhat playful, and he arched one perfect eyebrow. "Why, do I look that different without them?"

There was a slight widening of Zero's eyes before he averted them, his cheeks turned adorably pink. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to…well, stare…"

Kaname chuckled again. "It's okay, you don't have to apologize." There was a brief pause before the brunet asked with a slight tilt of his head, "Can I come in? I brought you a little present as an apology for the intrusion." He raised his hands to support his words, presenting Zero with the treats he had bought for him.

A small frown crossed Zero's brow for a moment, but then he nodded with a quiet _'Okay'_ and let Kaname in.

Kaname allowed himself a brief smirk of triumph while Zero wasn't looking. _It was as good as done now. He had almost won._ The resounding click of the front door closing confirmed as much. 

"How did you know my address?" Zero asked.

"From your file," Kaname replied nonchalantly as he handled the goods he had brought to Zero before bending down to remove his shoes and arrange them neatly by the genkan step.

"It has even that?" came Zero's next question. Kaname could clearly hear a frown in it.

He nodded, removing his coat next before hanging it on a wooden wall hanger. "It does."

 _It didn't actually._ Kaname had lied through his teeth, but Zero didn't need to know that. Nor did he need to know just _how_ exactly Kaname knew his address. _Or_ that he had known it for a very, _very_ long time.

Kaname turned to look at Zero, his smile widened as he observed his patient's subtly troubled expression. "Does it make you feel vulnerable?" He knew it did. He knew many such things about Zero, things that didn't really need admission, but he still liked hearing the words come out of Zero's mouth.

Zero scowled, passing Kaname and leading the way into his apartment's living room, coming to a stop upon reaching a couch in the middle of it. "Don't go analyzing me even now," Zero demanded. "We're not in your office."

"Does it mean that I guessed correctly?" Of course he had. He knew it. They both did.

"It means that I want you to stop being a shrink for once."

"Aren't you paying me to be one?" Kaname asked, feigning bewilderment.

" _I_ don't. It wasn't even my idea," Zero countered, taking a seat on the couch.

Kaname gave a shrug as he sat down as well. "I'm still getting paid. _And_ you did accept me as your therapist in the end."

Zero averted his eyes and concentrated his attention on the treats Kaname had brought, setting everything out on a coffee table. As he watched his beloved do so, Kaname fleetingly wondered _when_ he would actually _realize_.

"You're just the lesser evil compared to all the others. I can still change my mind if you get too annoying though."

Kaname gave a chuckle. "Is that so?" he asked before continuing with a dramatic sigh and a mock hurt expression, "And here I thought I started to grow on you. What a shame."

Zero snorted, a poorly concealed smile playing on his lips. Kaname had missed it, that attitude and their little banters. He looked forward to having more of it all.

"How have you been, Kiryuu-kun?" Kaname asked after a while as he checked the cups he had brought before handing Zero the one that contained his drink. Leaning back against the couch, he crossed his legs and brought his own cup to his lips to take a sip of his coffee while watching Zero from the corner of his eye, attentively yet discreetly. _And_ a little impatiently, if he was being totally honest. 

Zero gave a vague shrug, holding his cup with both hands. Kaname felt his heart race as he watched the younger man take a small sip from it. It sped up further when those amethyst eyes widened in obvious surprise before turning to him.

The dark-haired man had to make an effort to contain his excitement and calm himself before asking, "Is it not to your taste?"

Zero blinked at him, then furrowed his eyebrows slightly, but remained otherwise unresponsive.

"The tea," Kaname specified in response to Zero's confused frown.

Amethyst eyes widened in comprehension. "Oh…no…" Zero averted his gaze back to his cup. "No, it's just the opposite."

_Ah, there it was…_

Kaname could see it now, the first bits of it. _The suspicion._ It had been born. His excitement increased, his pulse raced anew. 

"I see." Kaname's smile returned. "That's a relief."

A short silence passed. Then Zero asked, "Why are you here?"

"I was concerned." That wasn't a lie. Kaname was _always_ concerned about his beloved. "You missed two of our sessions."

Zero shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal. You didn't have to come." But he did. Of course he _did_.

"I wanted to," Kaname answered truthfully. 

Zero gave him a long sideways glance before looking away again. He shifted slightly in his seat, then took another sip of his drink. Kaname could both see and feel his uncertainty.

…And almost _taste_ his discomfort. That suspicion was getting stronger as the seconds ticked by.

 _Oh, the_ thrill _…_

It was time.

"Can I use the bathroom?" Kaname asked a short while later.

Amethyst eyes widened slightly, blinking. "…Sure," Zero automatically replied with a slow nod, somewhat dazed.

Kaname sent him another smile and a nod before getting up and making his way out of the room. He could feel Zero's gaze on his back, and it sent pleasant shivers through him.

 _Any minute now,_ Kaname thought, almost trembling with excitement and anticipation. _Any second._

On shaky legs, Kaname followed a familiar to him path to the bathroom, making sure to leave the door open as he entered it. Looking at himself in the mirror, he almost failed to recognize himself. It was his face reflected there, alright, his features. But those weren't his eyes, the wild look in them wasn't. He hadn't known himself capable of wearing such a disturbing expression. But even so, instead of getting scared — or even the slightest bit perturbed — by it like he knew he should, he only got more excited.

He took a deep, calming breath, and then released it slowly through his mouth. Then again. And again. He needed to steady himself for what was to come.

Kaname wondered if Zero had realized it already. He knew his beloved had at least started suspecting something, that was for sure. The realization just hadn't sunk in yet — or rather, Zero didn't let it, too scared to face the truth. Unconsciously, of course.

_Such a sweet, fragile little thing his dear Zero was…_

Kaname turned towards the open door, distracted by a slight noise that he knew could only come from the living room. His lips slowly stretched into a wide grin.

 _It was time,_ sounded in his mind once more. _Finally._

Kaname waited a few moments. He could hear something hit the floor, probably after getting knocked over. The drug began to kick in.

Kaname exited the bathroom just in time to see Zero turn to walk towards the front door — or rather, stumble towards it. The silver-haired man could barely stay upright, let alone carry his weight without using the nearest wall for support.

The sight made Kaname's heart thump madly inside his chest. He felt his breathing quicken as he stepped forth and drew closer to Zero. His excitement was skyrocketing, but he made no effort to calm himself this time.

_Just a bit more._

Zero tried to go faster, but his legs failed him only a meter or so away from the door. He would have fallen, but Kaname didn't let him, hugging him from behind and pulling him to his chest.

Zero inhaled sharply. His head lulled backwards and landed on Kaname's shoulder as he slumped back against the dark-haired man. Kaname smiled softly, leaning closer to Zero.

"Careful, my love," he said, nuzzling his cheek against Zero's. "We can't have you hurt yourself now, can we?"

Zero exhaled shudderingly, his chest rising and falling unevenly as he gasped for breath. He was scared, he was panicking. Kaname knew it, he could tell, he could feel it.

And he _loved_ it. Every moment of it.

Kaname's arms tightened around Zero. He turned his head to brush his lips against Zero's cheek. Once. Twice. Then again, and again, and again, going a bit lower each time.

Zero whimpered helplessly, the sound sending a pleasant tingle down Kaname's spine.

"Shh, my love," Kaname soothed in a gentle, silky whisper, "it's okay, everything will be okay, I promise." He hugged Zero tighter. "You know you can trust me, don't you?"

Kaname dipped his head to nuzzle Zero's neck, eliciting another delicious whimper from the silver-haired man. He drew a deep breath, taking in his beloved's wonderful scent, _savoring_ it. He could finally do it, he could _finally_ allow himself this luxury. It felt almost surreal.

A deep, contented sigh escaped Kaname's smiling lips. One of his hands moved from Zero's middle to his chest.

"Your little heart is beating so fast… Are you scared, my love?" he whispered into Zero's ear, continuing after a brief pause, "You shouldn't be. I told you I would never hurt you, remember?" He turned Zero's head to the side so that he could look into those deep pools of lavender his beloved possessed, his fingers impossibly gentle on the younger man's jaw, stroking the pale skin there absently. Zero blinked drowsily, eyes half-lidded, silver eyebrows furrowed into a faint frown.

Kaname's lips stretched slowly into a warm smile. "You truly are a masterpiece of incomparable beauty," he said adoringly, his fingers stroking Zero's pale cheek gently, lovingly. "One I could never get enough of, one I would gladly spend the rest of my life appreciating…" Kaname's face got closer to Zero's, he continued, "You have no idea how happy I am that you're finally ready, my love." Then he leaned down, and their lips connected. _At last._

God only knew how torturously long Kaname had waited for this moment.

Gasping, Zero tried to move away, but failed miserably. Kaname's caging embrace only got tighter and his lips pressed harder.

And then Zero's beautiful eyes slid shut and he passed out.

Kaname took his sweet time enjoying the long-desired kiss before withdrawing. Looking down at Zero, he couldn't help but chuckle warmly at his beloved's adorable sleeping face. It was just as sinfully lovely as it had been the first few times he had had the pleasure of witnessing it.

After giving Zero's smooth cheek another gentle stroke, Kaname lifted the younger man up bridal style and carried him out of the apartment to finally take him to the place where he rightfully belonged — his secluded family mansion in the mountains far, far away from here — while his people took care of removing all traces of their presence so that not a single person they didn't want in their life could ever disturb them.

He couldn't be happier. Everything had turned out exactly as he had planned, and now he finally had his beloved in his arms.

Kaname smiled as he nuzzled Zero's silver-haired head while hugging his beloved closer.

He couldn't wait to get home — _their_ home now — and start a new life with his dear Zero.

**.**

**-The End-**

**.**

**Author's Note:**

> _**A/N:** And that's it. Nothing much, as you can see, but as always, I still hope you managed to enjoy it even the tiniest bit. If you got this far, thank you for reading *bows low* Would be really happy to hear your thoughts on this one as well *nods* Take care, and hope to see you again soon! :D _


End file.
